Listening skills are crucial and it gives children a huge advantage if they can learn the art of listening when they are young. But listening starts with parents!
How often do you see children tagging at their mother's arm saying "Mummy, Mummy, Mummy" and getting no response when she is attempting to have a conversation with a friend, or "Daddy, Daddy" when he is trying to read the paper or watch sport on TV!
Children have to learn patience, they have to realise that they are not the centre of the universe, but if they are consistently ignored when they want to say something they feel is important, they will soon copy that role model and stop listening themselves.
If you are being interrupted, stop talking, turn to your child and tell them you will talk to them very shortly when you have finished your conversation. When it is their turn, thank your son or daughter for waiting and then give them your full attention. Some children become difficult if they realise that they are not being listened to and will sometimes start behaving badly to gain attention.
It is not always easy when you are tired or have a blinding headache to listen to incessant chatter and answer a million questions, but this is how your child learns to communicate and they gain valuable self-esteem in the knowledge that they are being listened to and taken seriously. So it is really important that you show them you are listening by nodding and encouraging them, and to answer questions with consideration - children know if you are not really listening properly!
It is usually the case that children who don't listen are not listened to, but if your child constantly ignores you, it is a good idea to get their hearing checked, a build up of wax can sometimes be the culprit. If there is nothing wrong with the ears then you have to be quite firm when you have something significant to say, make sure the child is facing you and ask him or her to repeat what you have just said. Allowing them to run off as you are talking to them is asking for trouble!
I have found that some little boys get so lost in concentration when playing that a bomb could go off and they wouldn't hear, so again, ask them to put the toy down and make sure they are looking at you if you want to tell them something important and ask them to repeat what you have said.
Conversation at meal times is vital to develop listening skills, but make sure the children take it in turns to talk and then ask them what they each think of what has been said, so that they begin to listen to each other too. Very few people have really good listening skills, so if it is something you can nurture in your children it will help them become sensitive, popular, well rounded adults.
More on Diana Mathers manners techniques, click here
