As babies grow into small toddling children, their awareness of their surroundings and other people inevitably grows too. As parents, it's natural to want them to explore as well as protect them from anything potentially harmful too. We look here at some of the aspects that will influence small children and then look at the ways in which your relationship with your partner can evolve, as your children grow older.

The following factors will have an influence on your child:

Language - the strongest influence will be that of you and your partner. Most parents want to refrain from using bad language in front of their children but consider the seemingly innocent words too. The word ‛sex' in a casual conversation could potentially lead to a minefield of questions, details and information that you may not be ready to get into with a three or four year old.

Beware of your tone of voice - small children are incredibly perceptive at picking up on things between adults that are close to them, so this is worth remembering if you feel like sniping at your other half within earshot of your kids.

The actions you and your partner take in controlling what your child sees and hears is easier to monitor than external sources, so you need to be mindful of what your toddler is seeing and hearing when sitting in front of the TV. Think about any newspapers or magazines left around which may contain graphic images that could be either distressing or hard to explain to a young child. Friends and family and the language they use will have an affect on your child but this is harder to control. You and your partner need to decide what is acceptable unacceptable and if necessary talk through your concerns with these people to let them know what you're comfortable with. You'll also need to consider influences from other children e.g. at nursery, play group, school. You won't have control over those situations and may need to prepare yourself to answer questions on various topics that arise from inquisitive minds.

Think back to the time you were growing up and the things you heard from your friends and asked your parents about or perhaps wanted to ask but never did. Or perhaps your parents talked to you about things in a certain way and you feel that you would have done if differently. There are books around nowadays, on various topics written with children in mind, to help parents explain more difficult topics. You can check those out and see which ones suit your style of bringing up children and your way of thinking.

As your child grows older, your relationship with your partner will need to evolve too. Finding time for yourselves will be just as hard to accommodate, as it was when you had a small baby but for possibly slightly different reasons. You may still be too tired to have sex regularly but the issues of spontaneity will be greater too. There will be more planning needed to fit in with when your children aren't around or are asleep.

It's still important to make time to spend together as a couple without your children. Dedicate so many times a month in which you will go out for a meal, a drink, dancing or do anything other than talk about the kids. Remember going out with other friends isn't the same as having a night out as a couple, so make sure it's a real date! Even in the current economic climate, you don't have to spend much - you could always cook a nice meal at home and get a friend or family member to look after your children for the evening or perhaps even a weekend? And returning the favour could help them out too.

Set boundaries with your children that relate to time spent with your partner. Bed times can coincide with "mum and dad" time relaxing or having dinner together. Try not to just use this time to flop in front of the TV together but to chat together and really communicate. Determine what is and isn't acceptable regarding your space too. For example, when does is it become unacceptable to have your child sleep in bed with you or they aren't allowed into your room?

To find out more about dealing with changes in your life and for help in creating a life that you love, visit www.horizonsregained.com