So here I am. Over 40 (in fact nearly 45) and lately I find I've developed a strange relationship with magnifying mirrors. Once the domain of eye-brow plucking, I'm turning into Snow White's wicked witch with a "mirror, mirror on the wall..." complex. Do I need help? Is this normal I wonder?

So the children are here, at school and socially acceptable. The marriage is safe, secure, but not quite as steamy. My mind - not too bad. Bit more confident, lot less sensitive and a tad more selfish in a good way. But oh, my face and body! Do we twenty-first century middle-aged mums have a new DNA chain our own mothers didn't possess which says - "ahh wrinkles, lines and saggy stuff!" I had no idea I was becoming quite so self-absorbed in certain face and body parts.

Smile lines - yeah right. They are not called Crow's feet for nothing. My morning eyes look as if a whole flock of birds have parachuted onto my face and the gentle undulating of my 'pastry' tummy has turned into a great steak and kidney pie somewhere down the road. When did this happen?

Lately, I find myself secretly googling cosmetic surgery sites and quickly 'deleting history' in case anyone's looking. But seriously, would I go under the knife or dermal filler needle? Apart from justifying the cost, I don't think I could. I have a daughter and I'd like her to stand the test of time in a natural way and to teach her the value of looking after and making the most of what nature gave her. Yet, I can't help my secret daily dose of the 'makeover' drug. I've stumbled across a good, honest, no-holes-barred site www.cosmeticsurgerytoday.co.uk. It's an easy read, on line magazine detailing all the procedures known to man (well, woman mainly) and it's my guilty pleasure to know that I can browse painlessly. With news and celebrity articles and a guide to every conceivable aesthetic procedure, IF and not WHEN I ever decide to whiten teeth, dermal fill, or fat reduce - I'll log in and research.

Until then, I am going to really try to lose the scrutiny and keep laughing as apparently, it's the best anti-aging product there is.... mirror mirror on the wall....