We asked Karen Doherty and Georgia Coleridge, co-authors of the fabulous new book Seven Secrets of Successful Parenting to give us an insight into handling difficult children. For more information or to purchase the book visit www.karenandgeorgia.com

From Minor Grumbles to Major Tantrums - It‛s Not Easy, but You Can Do It

By Karen Doherty and Georgia Coleridge, co-authors of Seven Secrets of Successful Parenting

Does your child ever get moody and withdrawn, answer back or have tantrums? Does he ever swear, throw things or kick you? Or refuse to do what he is told? Well, join the club. We'd like to tell you that none of our children have ever done these things, but it simply wouldn't be true.

Over the last fifteen years, we've survived toddler tantrums, teenage mood swings and everything in between. Being a parent is so simple when your child is in a good mood and behaving well. You talk nicely to him. He talks nicely to you. It's easy. But catch even a cooperative child on a grumpy day, and it's another story.

Being a parent when your child is being foul can be demoralizing. With so much stress and anger swirling around, it's enough to push even the most easygoing, civilized parent over the edge. You might try to console yourself by being cynical about other people's perfect children - they're sure to rebel big-time in their teens, aren't they? But you have to admit, it would be so much more pleasant if everything would just run smoothly. When your child is rude and surly, all the good parenting stuff can fly right out of the window. You can go from Super Parent to the Great Dictator in nought to ten seconds, yelling things you'll regret later.

What are you saying? Who knows! You are furious and out of control. Your voice rises, your blood pressure soars and it is hard to think straight. Your child behaves worse and worse - and so do you. After a hideous scene, you can feel overwhelmed, exhausted and guilty.

Lots of parents find their problems don't come in isolation; it's generally more of a package deal, with a couple of added bonus problems on top. A child who is rude and uncooperative with you may also torment his siblings, refuse to do his homework, be aggressive at school or hyper-sensitive to loud noises.

‛What's the right thing to do when my child is being difficult? I honestly haven't got a clue.'

Ideally, unhappy, angry feelings could be sorted out immediately and they'd never escalate. But some days, whatever you say or do seems to be wrong. The good news is that whether your child is difficult occasionally or most of the time, the situation isn't hopeless and every one of the parenting skills can help. Once you are communicating better your child will be more inclined to listen, and his behaviour will improve. You'll find it's much easier to tackle problems when there is a good atmosphere and you feel you are both on the same side.

We're not saying you can change your child's temperament entirely, or that you should even want to. His stubbornness, his impulsiveness, his sensitivity - whatever it is that drives you crazy - is what makes him unique. What you can change is the way you respond to him, so he feels loved, accepted and understood.